When family members, acquaintances, friends, or others around you are deeply depressed after losing a beloved pet.
I think many people are unsure of how to approach them.
If you have had a similar experience, you may know what you wish someone had done or said to you.
However, if the person has not had such an experience or is particularly depressed, I would recommend paying particular attention to the following points:
・Stay close to each other and spend time together
Some people feel a little more at ease just by having someone close to them spend time with them, without having to do anything in particular.
It won't make your loneliness and sense of loss go away, but the first step towards healing is knowing that the people around you accept you as you are, even though you're sad.
Listen to stories of pets who have passed away
Don't force them to talk about their deceased pet; it's fine if they feel like talking about it when they want to.
Just listen to what the child has to say.
Don't judge whether it's good or bad, just nod and say, "I see, that's how it is," and listen.
There's no need for encouragement like, "You need to move on," "Look forward," or "Forget it and move on."
Allow the person to express their feelings to their heart's content and truly grieve the loss of their pet.
Taking the time to grieve properly is a necessary process for a broken heart to heal.
I think it's very important not to see sadness as a bad thing.
When I lost my pet (it still makes my heart ache when I think about it), my mind went blank and it took me a while to accept it.
After a while, I gradually began to accept the fact, and what came after was an overwhelming feeling of sadness, loneliness, pain, and lingering regret.
My family was crying and I cried a lot too.
But now I think I should have grieved more together with my family.
I wish I had cried a lot, let all my sadness out, and talked about memories of my child until we were satisfied, crying our eyes out as a family.
I was still at a stage where I was in so much pain and sadness that tears would come to my eyes just by walking normally, but for some reason I was unconsciously pushing myself, telling myself "There's no point in thinking about it anymore" and "I have to move forward now."
I feel like there are a lot of people like that, especially Japanese people.
At that time, I decided to "stop crying" and "stop being sad" and tried to forget as quickly as possible, forcing myself to suppress my sadness, and as a result, I ended up feeling like there was a hole in my heart for quite a long time.
This may not be limited to pet loss.
When we're sad, we feel like we're wired to feel the need to be as sad as we want.
Just like animals, when we are injured we rest.
I think this is normal.
The silent warmth of those around you telling you, "It's okay to be sad," may be the most nourishing thing for someone who is feeling down.
